none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
