and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
