Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
