we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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