ya dads aren't the best wingmen
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize