From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
