i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
