So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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