I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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