woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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