I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
