I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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