i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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