well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize