just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize