That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
