you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Sorry my hands just texted you
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
