Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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