So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
