does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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