Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
