wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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