Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
