i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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