Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
