My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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