I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
