Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
