Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I looked at my own cervix.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
