'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
