I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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