As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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