Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize