did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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