Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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