There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
