She is in my trunk
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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