Your dad touched me again.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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