I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
