You smell like stripper and shame
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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