She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Nobody cheats on THIS.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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