he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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