You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
