meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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