This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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