Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
