Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We just shotgunned beers for America
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
