I want to stick my p in your. b.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
if only i could text you this smell
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
