Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
