you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize