It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
