I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
