But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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