At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
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