I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
