I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
