Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
