I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I see more hoeing in ur future
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