Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize