guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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